To be honest, its kinda a sucky Valentines Day from the view from the couch.
I was trying, really really trying this morning, to find the silver lining on a dark cloud that has kind of taken over my current existence. It is a cloud filled with regret, lots of pain, and irritation at being unable to even make it to the bathroom without considerable pain and straining of sore muscles.
I am NOT normally a complainer, and I am sure if you have read my blog before you will know this. So that kinda gives you a good perspective of where I really am right now.
But I need you to know, and I need to say it:
I know it is all gonna turn out ok.
I know it is.
It always has, and it will this time too, so I just need to focus on what is good, and focus on that.
So in an effort to pull myself from the dumps, and squelch any type of pity party that might be brewing, I wanted to show you some pictures of what true love, REAL love looks like from my perspective this Valentine's Day.
I have twin toddlers who have one precious possession that accompanies them everywhere. Once they get up, their bears are their constant companion. If lost, disaster would strike, and we would immediately launch into DEFCON 5 at the house. Every day for three horrible, pain-filled, and mental agony day, those precious little bears have been here. On the couch, keeping me company. They go away for a short time for nap time with their beloved owners, but they come right back and share cookie crumbs, snuggles, and books with me after a few short hours. First thing in the morning, they are here, and when their little, footie-clad owners trundle off to bed they leave me with a fuzzy kiss and a deep promise that come tomorrow,
That is true love, REAL love, to a mamma who wants nothing more than to get up and run and play with her children, romping through the rooms as a dinosaur, playing shadow puppets,
or serving funny sandwiches for a laughter-filled lunch. REAL love.
I have a beautiful, silly oldest daughter who has tried, to her very best, to step into my shoes and carry a household full of chores and needs, wants and desires for three days. Balancing on crutches for a few minutes, I tried to help her bake bread yesterday, only to have to give up and leave her with instructions to follow while I answered from the couch. The bread may look different, but the sweetness with which she served it, and decorated for her father's birthday last night, showed me that this is just a short piece of time in a window of my life---she shows the love and care of years of me pouring into her. And when that same child brings me a piece of bread smothered with butter and cinnamon, and tells me she brewed a pot of coffee just for me...well, my cup runs over. How can I NOT see that as a silver lining? That is love. REAL love from the heart of a child that is supposed to be at a difficult age where most parents want to move past as fast as they can. REAL love.
I can do nothing to help my mother, who, handicapped herself, is herding my children, running the washer and dryer, trying to not show how tired she is, and who made sure my husband had a sour cream raisin pie for his birthday. A woman who stood over a stove and stirred the filling for his pasties, and who lovingly buys pizza for lunch knowing there is no way I can repay her for a few weeks without money coming in from teaching lessons. Who came straight from her home to mine without asking when my husband called in a panic needing her to stay with our children as he rushed me to the urgent care 20 minutes away. That is love. REAL love from someone who expects nothing in return.
Beautiful, pure, sweet love from one mamma to another, her own child.
And then finally, to a man who ran to my side, put me in the car like a piece of broken china, and rushed over ice and snowy, rotten roads to make sure I would be looked at and taken care of. Who held my hand and soothed me through some x-rays and movement of a severely sprained foot, ankle and knee that made me want to lose my lunch and yet run screaming from the room.
For the man who realized I was too weak for the crutches after two days of pain and just simply carried me, up the stairs, or to the bathroom, refusing to allow me another moment of pain or suffering that he could not do something about. That is REAL love.
And this Valentine's day there are no heart shaped cookies gracing a table made up to look beautiful. There are no doily hearts hanging in a window, and my littlest ones' matching Heart dresses are hanging in the closet for a better day. I have no possibly way of making a heart shaped cake, or fancy cupcakes, buying my kids a load of sweet candy, or doing their hair with fancy heart shaped barrettes. All I can do here is love, encourage, praise, thank, and be the nicest mamma I can be, reminding myself there will be other Valentine's Days.....but this one may possibly be the sweetest.
Many Blessings to you and yours,