How a Man Makes a Home......A Handy Hubby Perspective

You get a real treat this morning.

The Handy Hubby, in all his awesome glory, is volunteering to share his perspective on how a man makes a home......and how important he is in the whole process.

Of course, being a woman, I could come up with a zillion ways, but to have this moment in time where he actually volunteers to add to the Welcoming House Blog, is something I should capture as quickly as I can before it disappears in smoke, and leaves me
wishing I had snatched it up.

Since he has 16 years under his belt, so to speak, in making a home with me, I personally trust his wisdom and perspective. He has such a way of putting things sometimes, that makes me see things from a different light, and I am quite sure that today you will discover that too.

Just think of him as a secret agent with a tool belt 

and a heart as big as gold.

 

Enjoy.....

Question> Mr. Handy Hubby, what would you say are the top three rules that you live by, in terms of a man making a house a home. I mean, this is normally something that is most often talked about as being reserved for women, but really, it takes both spouses. 

My Number one rule is: 

Keep the Peace

That means that do as the wife wants, kinda,
using my father's wedding day advice,

 which was learning to use the phrase "yes dear". It meant, don't argue with her, remember who you married, and take her side... It meant when your wife has a crazy idea, you have to figure out how to make it work, even working around it, so that she is happy and you are happy.  
Make it work.

 It means managing, and taking care of the children for the sake of my wife's sanity and mine. It means reining small children in who want to throw spaghetti, because even if you want to join in, you can see your wife's blood pressure rising by the millisecond. You are like the governor in a semi----your kids would love to go 75 in a 55, but you have to be the one to keep them from pushing down the pedal and taking off.

It is like a balancing act. With a houseful of girls, this can be one stressful act with all the girl stuff and pink everywhere. But someone has to be the voice of reason and steer the ship when it is needed. As I joke, my house is an ocean of estrogen, and I am the lone captain. Peace is important.

'My number two rule is:

Take Care of my Family

This means providing for them, and not that they are going to get everything that they want, but absolutely everything they need. It means get a job, work hard, do your best, and you will be happy. On the other hand, you are not always going to be happy. It is a responsibility. It means that I carry a full-time job, with health benefits, and working the hardest that I can with what I have. It means to be able to have a home, when we live on this income, means that we buy an older house and I am willing to fix it up. It means that when my wife wants to plant fruit trees, or have crazy rabbits take over my garage, or have the tree guys dump three loads of wood chips that end up being taller than my shed, that I jump in with both feet and do what needs to be done. It means that if I can not get the time off to go hunting because I have a family to support, I butcher someone else's deer for a cut of the meat. Sometimes all those things can be a lot to deal with, but they are also fulfilling. I may not always want to do those things, but I do them because I am taking care of my family. The whole point is, you do what you have to do, when you have to do it, because it is your job. As my grandfather always used to say:
"Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and carry on..."

My Number three rule is: 

Lead even when it is hard.

 

This means doing what is right regardless of whether you feel like it or not. Do what your conscience, experience, and your heart is telling you...even if it meets with resistance. 

If those three are not in alignment, 
then don't take a step that way. 

It could lead to disaster.

Leading means everything: spiritually, physically, mentally,
and emotionally. 

It means taking that first step knowing they are going to follow you, and you have to be walking in faith. Being a husband and a father means that you are walking around with a target on your chest, because there are many people, and many things looking to take you out...such as discouraging family members, or even ads on TV, a tough work environment or co-worker looking for an available person to hook up with. You need to be on your guard at all times, and lead yourself, as well as your family, away from anything that might impact your family for the negative. You need to be paying attention to physical, financial, emotional, mental, and spiritual traps that might be coming into your family. As we used to say in football:

 "Keep your head on a swivel so you know what is going on."

My only other advice to guys out there?

Learn to cook.

Not slide a frozen pizza in the oven.

But learn how to cook.

Learning to run a grill and cook meat means you will atleast get some meat occasionally that the wife can not change into something unrecognizeable, mushed together with things that are NOT meat, 

and tries to tell you it is.

Oh, and be willing to wash out poopy diapers. Because you might get a crazy wife that thinks cloth diapers are better for your family, and cheaper, but the moment that cute baby butt poops in one, its every man for himself...and you don't want that financial investment to go to waste.

Just sayin'.

And last but not least, certainly not least, anytime that she comes running at you with something that she has fermented in a jar, on your fridge, that smells like dirty socks but is good for you....

either have a clear and fast path to the front door, or be willing to swallow it, smile, and tell her its fine.

Even if your kids like it.

And just a word:

All this advice may save your life someday. Take it from me. :)